Monday, February 25, 2013


There are a number of reasons as to why I plan on continuing my education in a field other than music. While  I would absolutely love performing as a career*, I know the field is far too competitive and I simply am not at the top. I could get there, I could be at the top. I know I have all of the potential, drive, talent, and knowledge. But that would take time away from the family that I desire to have more than anything in the world. So am I sacrificing music for family? Some might see it as such, but I think a more accurate description would be.. I am sacrificing a life centered on improving my talents, in exchange for hopefully bringing children into the world and giving them the opportunities to bring good into this troubled world, explore and learn and love as I have, yet through their own eyes and in their own individual ways. Let them find passions and drive, let them learn through struggles, and ultimately find love and happiness in doing the work the Lord calls them to do.

Family is one reason why I plan on not having a performance career.

I believe I need to be prepared. Until I left for school in Idaho, I never lived outside of "Tornado Alley". Everywhere I went, if I wasn't previously instructed on where to go in case of severe weather, I always figured it out myself. Books and teachers taught us that an inner-most room in the lowest level of the building,  far away from any windows, is the safest place to be. There weren't specific directions in every single home or building, but I would usually figure it out on my own. Fortunately, I rarely ever needed to use those rooms as a storm shelter.

I am not pessimistic about our country. Skeptical? Perhaps. I certainly don't feel like President Obama will ruin the nation. I do not agree with many of his standings, but I don't feel he is the worst thing to happen to America. Certainly America has been through worse.
While there are many great and not-so-great things that all of our presidents do, one particular part of President Obama's health care plan has me feeling... cautious, aware, anxious. I feel the need to be prepared for any looming super cell that charges its way into my life.
I will not always have my father's insurance to cover me. I won't have that safety procedure map on the wall to help me out on my own with little effort on my part.
Ideally, I would marry a husband with a life-long career, a promising comfortable income, all benefits included, and not a worry in the world. All of my health needs would be worry-free. I would easily get my medication to keep the crohn's disease in a life-long remission, and have no a single financial worry over any medical emergencies.
Unfortunately, we have not reached eternal salvation yet, and we still have to survive in this world before we get there.
Now, I could still very well marry a man who has a job that provides benefits. But with the economy in such a fragile state that is not showing promising signs of improvement, employers are having to make cuts in order to keep employing citizens and families. Ironically, this can include cuts that directly affect families, particularly spouses, of employees.

I hope and pray my family never has to endure not having medical coverage.
However, much like a tornado, you can't stop it from coming.
It can miss you by miles, it could just barely miss you, or it could plow you right over.
I need to be prepared for this tornado threat.
I am taking my education plans towards a career that I am capable of handling, I have a deep interest in, has an extremely high job demand, and has health benefits.

I genuinely hope I never have to reach a frantic state and be unprepared for the storm. I hope I will be blessed with a husband whose job provides coverage for spouses. But it is impossible to tell where exactly the tornado will drop down, especially when the radar hasn't even picked it up yet.

I'm still young and under my father's insurance. I still have safety signs, ultimate basement protection, the latest storm updates, security.
I am so excited for Occupational Therapy school. This will be so good for me. I am relieved that I have a plan, but still quite anxious for the future.
I just have to remember to fear not, the Lord is on my side, and as long as I continue doing the things He would have me do, continue to have faith and rely on Christ, He will bless me with what I need. Because I am loved.

*I have absolutely no desire to be a school educator. Private instructor, yes. School teacher, no.