Tuesday, October 16, 2012


"Apparently, the only positions I am qualified for as a summa cum laude college graduate are those for retail, and only because I worked retail in high school. And full-time work so I can pay my bills and student loans? Forget about it! I'm not typically the queen of negativity, but after sending out 50+ applications/resumes, I'm getting a little hopeless." - a music major friend of mine.

Aaaaaaaand that is why I am going to OT school once I am done with my undergrad in the Musical Arts.
I have unofficially decided that when I leave Kohl's in a couple of months to go back to school, I will be done with retail. I am going to start looking for OT assistant positions, private music lessons... anything that isn't food service or retail. Heck, even if I'm just a receptionist at a clinic... it beats standing behind a register with angry customers trying to squeeze every last coupon out of you that they can.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


General Conference was perfect. Beautiful. Everything I needed.

View it here.

I wouldn't be able to do any of this without the Lord. He knows the pain I am in, and has already lived it. His love for me is beyond description. I could very well be a wreck right now. A week ago, even death felt like a happier thing than life at that present time (not in a suicidal way). But, just as I have been doing for the last two years, I am giving all my will to God. It has been deeply humbling and is nowhere near over. There is still much more for me to learn.
I am very grateful for God, Christ and His atonement, all that I have in this life. I have been blessed with some wonderful, beautiful friends here in Henderson. I am forever grateful for them.

I am strong. I am beautiful. I am smart. I can do anything I set my mind and heart to. I am a daughter of God; a princess. And I know it. I deserve nothing less than to be treated as such (with graciousness and humility on my end, as a true princess would, of course).
I will always learn, I will always grow, and I will never, ever, ever let anything stop me from becoming the person God intends me to be.

Through trials we grow stronger. I feel spiritually stronger now than I ever have in my life. I hope to continue to gain strength and be even closer to God, in both the highest and lowest of times, and everywhere in between.

I love you all, and thanks for reading.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


I just love not sleeping. Feeling miserable. You know, it's just fantastic. Not being able to rest, being entirely alone with a shattered heart. Yeah, that's the best.
I just want to sleep. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I don't want to keep crying. I mean, it's five in the morning. I'm really at a loss right now.
It's time to start fresh. But I really wish my mind would just shut up and let me get some freaking rest before I start the next chapter of my life.
It is so tempting to put stupid depressing bitter emotional back-lashing things on the internet right now. So, so tempting. But I know ultimately that would not do anything but make me a jerk.

I really just want sleep. :(