Thursday, September 27, 2012


I sound like a lunatic, but I strongly believe that we are past the "beginning of the end" of the world. Things are going to get bad quickly. Everything has been simmering in a giant pot of world destruction, and it is starting to boil over. The frightening thing about it is this: We all knew it would have to happen eventually, but now that it is starting to happen, it's a crap-load of a lot scarier than we could have imagined.
I think the "simmering" phase is over, but the "boiling over" has just begun, and soon, there will be a lot of smoke and things will catch fire, and domino-effect catastrophes will happen everywhere. All the while, more and more ingredients will be added to this recipe-for-disaster concoction until it explodes.
Somewhere in there is the second coming of Christ. I think it will be after the explosion, but not too long after.

In the mean time, I really need to keep remembering to "be not afraid", and that those who are living righteously have no need to fear.
Just keep on pressing forward.

This is not church doctrine or even an evidence-based theory of any kind. It's just my prediction.

Friday, September 14, 2012


I was in a little car accident yesterday. It was not my fault, but the other driver spoke very little English and did not understand me. My dad came to the rescue and spoke in spanish with this guy. The guy was saying it was all my fault, even though it wasn't.
Anyway. It was a no-fault claim and the police officer was kind and helpful. Just a pain in the butt during the hottest time of the day.

And now some brief back-story: Back in July, I applied for a passport so that I can go to Canada with Nick and meet his family. About a month or so later, I got a letter from the passport agency saying my "identification was not sufficient" for them to approve my passport. I had to fill out a TON of information (that nobody should ever have to know), and give a minimum of 5 forms of documentation about myself that were 5 years or older. Five years ago I was 16.
On Tuesday we sent this in, and we (my dad and I) sent a letter in to the congressman, telling him I am having trouble getting my passport and am concerned I will never get it, things seem fishy.

Today, he called me. At this point, I have no clue when I will be receiving my passport, but there are two likely possibilities for why I am not getting my passport.
1) Identity theft. This is apparently the most common reason why people get sent the forms that I was sent. Somebody else could have a passport in my name with my information. I don't have credit cards or anything though, and I'm only 21. I don't put my information ANYWHERE online. How could that have even happened????
2) When I sent in the application, I was in Idaho. They photocopied my driver's license, which had an Iowa address, and my Idaho Student ID. However, my mailing address was my new home address in Nevada. Three different states for one person. The congressman said that it isn't usually an address problem though; it is more commonly a false ID problem.

Later he called me again and asked me to write a detailed letter explaining why I was in Idaho, why I had an Iowa driver's license, and why my family moved to Nevada. Also get some photocopies of yearbook photos, my current student ID, and send that in to him. He will then put it together and send that into the agency so that they know I am being represented through him.

It could be either one, and I am hoping and praying it is the second one. If it's the first one, it could take up to a year for me to get my passport.
Not to mention dealing with identity theft.

Oh my goodness. I just want to see Nick and go about my life with no more legal issues. 

Friday, September 7, 2012


I saw a few of these going around facebook and wanted to share them. They're perfect.

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

Here's a link to a larger version of this image (click the picture on the website)

When I first learned about introversion and extroversion, it really surprised me how much I fit perfectly in with the standard definition of introversion. I remember as a kid (and still today) never really being bored on long car trips or waiting for appointments, or anything that involves doing nothing for a long time. I think all the time and get lost in thought.
I have also always been very independent, and have struggled when people are excessively needy of me. Not like a child or a pet, but a person my age who needs my attention - and for me, my attention is my all. I focus. I don't know how else to explain it without sounding conceited or haughty (see Myth #3, 4, and 8).

Have a great day!

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


I sort of feel like a terrible person for thinking this, but I am so happy that I do not have to go back to BYU-I right now, and that I still have 4 months until I head back. The thought of going back makes me incredibly depressed, and I cannot figure out exactly why.
Maybe it is because I just spent 11 solid months being a full-time student, 7 of those months being a new student at a new campus by myself for the first time.
I know I had some very good times at Idaho, but I am having a hard time thinking of what they were.
I loved devotional, my religion classes, some of my music classes. I made a few very good friends.
I hated the hike to school. Having hardly any money for food. Not having a car so I could have that independence. Apartment drama. Oh I really hated all of the apartment drama. After a certain point, I never felt peace in either of the apartments. It was really sad. I felt bad for counting down the days until I left, because I knew so many people loved it there. I feel bad that I am not one of those people.
I don't hate BYU-I or Rexburg. I actually really love the school.
I just have a hard time being with some of the people. I do not know why it is so hard. I blame myself for so much of it, but there is only so much I can do. Cooperation and peaceful living cannot be accomplished by one person alone. It is a burden I got so tired of carrying.

I am so afraid of going back and having a roommate who will shout at me and throw all of my faults into my face again.
Is that what I did? Did I do that to my roommate? I don't think so... at least I didn't scream them at her, anyway.*  *I only confronted her about ..."behavior" that was against the honor code, as I was supposed to do as part of the integrity promise. I have to keep reminding myself that, even though she hates me for it, I did do the right thing.. I think.

I was made to recount my experience from my first semester in Idaho. I did not want to go into detail, but after much questioning, I told this fellow YSA in my ward the reasons as to why my first semester was a nightmare.
"If I was in her shoes, I would have hated you, too! I would have told you to get over it; sucks to be you!"

I nearly cried. But I was at a housewarming party, so I kept my emotions and thoughts to myself.
I don't even know this girls name, but it is girls like her and my former roommate who scare the living daylight out of me. They will trample me over - not because I don't have the backbone to stand up to them, but because it is not a fight I want to pick. I only argue when I know reason can be drawn for both myself and the other person. As I mentioned earlier, cooperation is not a one person deal - that's why it is cooperation. If it's going to be a "he-said/she-said/it's-your-fault" fight, then count me out.

I used to be such a terror as a kid. I would scream and say terrible things, kick and throw and yell, plot, threaten, hit, bite, scratch, and I even ran away from home a few times.
I feel like I am totally the opposite now. I don't like yelling. I thoroughly enjoy peace and quiet. I would rather sit and breathe than stomp and scream and slam doors. I appreciate rational thinking, and can sense irrationality before it even happens. (Although, I do love that I have the resources to actually escape.. but I don't think I would run away anymore.)

I think I just think too much. Maybe if I stop thinking so much I'll stop worrying.

Writing this all out really helped, though. Congratulations to you if you actually read the whole thing, and thanks for stopping by.

Saturday, September 1, 2012


It's my birthday! My 21st birthday. I am now one year into my 20's, and there are nine more to go. It is neat to think about what all might be happening in this decade of my life.
Unfortunately, I cannot see into the future, so I will just have to make it up as I go.
This next year of my life is going to be pretty exciting! I am going to graduate from college, and who knows what will happen after that. I have some plans, but only time will tell which plan will work out.

Many would find it to be perfect that my birthday is on a Saturday and a three-day weekend, it is my 21st birthday, and I live in Las Vegas. This may be ideal to some, but I am not going out partying at the casinos, getting wasted, and being an obnoxious birthday girl. Nope! I'm going cliff jumping, eating cake, and watching a movie with my family!
It's a perfect birthday for me!