Tuesday, December 27, 2011


This week is quite like the process of ripping off a band-aid.

First, there is all the anxiety that builds up before the band-aid is actually ripped off.

Next, you brace yourself, and rip it off quick!

After that there is a sting and discomfort, but this is only temporary.

In the end, there may still be a scar, but it all heals up and life moves on.

I have never in my life lived away from my family for more than three weeks. And those times I wasn't even completely on my own. Molly was with me.
I have all of this anxiety building up. There's emotional exhaustion with all of this packing. Worrying about there being enough room in the Element for everything I need to bring. Making sure I have everything. Then packing away everything I'm not taking with me, and saying 'goodbye' temporarily to things that have been a part of my life since childhood. Not having everything in its place. In my room, there is a place for my clothes, my shoes, my jewelry, my books, my pictures, my art supplies, my music, everything. Now they are all in boxes scattered across my room. Labeled, of course, but they are not in their place. And then knowing that in just 54 hours, I will be saying 'goodbye' to my younger siblings and dogs, all of whom I love so much. It makes me very sad and anxious. I'm not looking forward to it. I just want it to be done. This is normal, and as mentioned above, similar to being anxious about pulling off the band-aid.

Come early Friday morning (5 am), we will be pulling out of the driveway to start the 1300 mile trek across the midwest and into the mountain valleys. Leaving my siblings, dogs, familiar beautiful home, and everything else I love about Dubuque is the band-aid being ripped off. Not fun.

The following days will sting, especially when my parents drive off an leave me in Rexburg. I can guarantee you I will be so homesick. I'm making plans on eating super healthy and getting things ready to do, like journal writing, cooking, and socializing so that I can have a distraction and don't become too physically sick from the emotional toll.

I imagine that by a month from now I will be feeling much better. I will still be homesick, scars will still be there. But life will be better, things will be progressing, and time will go by so fast.

I'm excited to be making this huge step towards the rest of my life. I feel like I'm literally walking through the doors into life. I spent the first several years sheltered in childhood. High school and the first two and 1/2 years of college have been spent in the "front yard" and maybe around the block of my childhood "shelter". But now I'm totally going away, expanding horizons, and starting fresh. It's so cool!

Just gotta get past the hard part, first.

1 comment:

  1. I know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us - is always there for us - and when we need Him the most, His arms are ever-ready to carry us through.