Saturday, November 26, 2011

Movies

Out of my entire Priest side of the family, one thing I ultimately do not have in common with anybody is my taste in movies.My family just watched Captain America. I thought it was really stupid and boring. Now we're watching Thor, and I keep rolling my eyes. The acting is awful, the plot is uninteresting, and the effects are cheap. So badly cheap.
I would love to see this with rifftrax.

Maybe I just need to be drugged up and put to sleep for a while. I seem to be in an incurable bad mood, along with a lot of pain.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Stress



It's that time of year again! I can't tell if I'm going crazy, if I'm super depressed, if I need a change in medication, or if I just have a never-ending list of things to do and I'm responding to this stress in a completely normal way!

The picture describes my life very well right now.
I don't want to talk to people, I don't want to be with people, I don't want to work with people. I am losing my temper a lot more easily lately. Only for a short time, but the fact that I'm losing it worries me a bit.

I am working my butt off trying to remain on top of things for both this semester and next semester. I have so much to do before this semester ends, and I have just as many things to do that are of equal importance to get ready for next semester in Idaho.

Let's see...

Two major papers to [start and] write. This is considerably less than last semester, so that is a plus!
An entire 3 movement atonal piece for full orchestra to analyze, rip apart, and explain.
Classes to attend, homework to get done, studying to do, tests to pass, find time to practice both piano and cello.
Find out how to get my money I have made through accompanying voice lessons.

Get my classes transferred from this semester to Idaho.
Get my loan money.
Get a new laptop.
Get my wisdom teeth out.
Figure out what I need to bring and what can stay at home.
Get all of my medical stuff transferred over to Idaho. (ugh!!)

Find time to spend with Nick before he goes home.

Enjoy the time I am home with my family.

So written out, it doesn't seem like nearly as much. This helps.

I went to Iowa City today to have my cello worked on. SO happy with how it plays now. But I hate being in Iowa City. I've been there more than I like and I can't get myself to associate Iowa City with anything other than the stinking hospital. Granted, it's a great hospital, but I am too familiar with the place and I don't enjoy being there and I hate that I still feel really sick and am in pain but there is not a thing they can do for me anymore because they have tried all they have and I'm just on a plateau with my health. I'm not sick enough for them to do the quick-fix (surgery). That's a really good thing. But I'm also not all better, and they've run out of resources. So... I guess as long as I don't get worse that is a good thing, but until then, I just take what I get.
The frustrating part is being in this much pain. It has always scared us in the past when I've been in a lot of pain, but they never find answers as to why I'm in pain. We switch my diet around, some things get better but the pain is still there. The pain gets so bad sometimes. I'm afraid of the pain being something other than the "norm", but not being able to tell until it's gotten really bad. But I guess that's the way I have to go.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Sweetness

Our sweetest dog, Gus, is going to die very soon. It could be tonight, tomorrow, this weekend. He has cancer in his throat that extends down his chest into his shoulders, and now up into his face, causing his left eye to droop a bit. He has difficulty swallowing and breathing, causing him to choke and gag and vomit a few times a day. His shoulders are also getting very weak, making it harder for him to stay standing for very long, and the slightest bump makes him fall over.

Despite the sickness, Gus is still himself. He is the sweetest dog I have ever known. He never has any interest in competition; he just loves you and wants you to love him.
Though I am very sad about his condition, and I will be very sad when he dies, I'm going to take away many good memories with Gus, and I will learn from his life, as simple as it may have been.
Gus does not care who you are. He will love you. Even if you're terrified of dogs, he will sit down and watch you with his soft dark eyes, his tail gently wagging, paws neatly together, allowing space for the both of you. As soon as a hand comes near his head to pet him, he will push against the hand in response and turn his head to look at you. He loves everyone. Unless you are trying to hurt one of us, he will love you no matter what. And it is impossible to not love him back. Sweet, sweet Gus.

As simple as that is, that is something I will carry with me forever. Love everyone. Be kind to all those you meet. Even when you need to stand up and be defensive, don't worry too much about it. It will all be okay.


I love my dog Gus.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Future

This is such an exciting part of life, these years. I'm twenty years old and I have completed about a quarter of my life. Unless I have Grandma Priest genes, then I'm only a fifth of the way there! But boy if there is anything I could do, aside from being able to fly, I would wish to see the future. Five years ahead of now. I want to know where I'll be, what I will be doing, how life will be going! I just know that my twenties are going to be totally filled with some huge life steps. I just can't wait to figure it all out! I am excited to be living it. Yet so impatient, too! I want to know when I will graduate. What I will do and where I will go after graduation. Will I pursue my next degree in music therapy? And my masters in occupational therapy next? Will I get married and move away? Will I have kids? Any pets? Will all of my immediate family still be alive? Extended family? Will I have served a mission? Will I completely change directions and pursue something else in life? How will my health be? What kind of church callings will I have? What kind of jobs will I have? Will I teach? Will I run a business? Will I work part-time in a clinic or hospital? Will I be in a symphony orchestra?

I JUST decided that I am going to write all of these down and seal them in an envelope and keep the envelope with me for the next five years. In five years I will open it and answer the questions!

I think this will help release some of my impatience with the future!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Generation

I can't stand my generation sometimes.

When you're fresh out of college, you're not a genius with all of the solutions to all of the world's problems. You're barely beginning life and you're likely in debt.

Yeah, you know how to use big words like "industrialize" and "plutocracy" and were barely old enough to remember 9-11 and you can find Iraq on a map in less than 10 seconds. You've only known this - sorry, "understood" this, for what, a year? Maybe two?

Oh, and not only are you a thriving genius who is just blossoming to learn and teach and tell everyone how it is, but you are a trendy hipster supermodel, too! You know how to best aim a camera at yourself to capture the best possible angle of your eyes without making your cheeks look too chubby and while making your hair appear flawless. You have well over several hundred facebook friends, text updates to your twitter account at least twice a day and love the coffee shop scene. Oh, and if you're a guy, you [attempt to] rock the facial hair. You just rock all around.


Everything is just so easy and you have the answer to everything! Well duh, weren't we all silly geese for thinking differently than you!





Freakin' wall street protesters. So many things they say and do just piss me off. And I don't usually get that irritated by many political things. Not saying I am 100% against them, no, but their approach is wrong and unhealthy and irrational and will not achieve anything but 15 minutes/weeks of fame. I hope and pray and beg that people [who aren't in the protests due to their location] understand what kind of people are largely taking up the space of this protest.


I also hope those people get snowed on some more.
Okay I'm done being mean.
And I didn't really mean that last statement (the one about people being snowed on). Just enough to cover up the stench of feces and semen and other bodily fluids that have polluted those streets.



Oh my gosh. As excited as I am for my future, I am scared to death of what the future holds.