There has been quite a lot going on in my life lately. Sort of.
It doesn't really appear to be that way too much, but boy there certainly is. Looks can be deceiving.
Where to begin!
I have officially decided to go to Idaho. In some ways, this was a very easy choice. In others, it has been a very hard choice to make. I know going to Idaho will be good for my education. It will be good for my experience. I will grow as a musician and as a person. all around this will be very very good for me. Living on my own, having an apartment with roommates, living without a car (!!!), living far away from home, and so much more. One of the hardest things about leaving Iowa for Idaho will be being far away from Nick. I don't know what will happen, but I feel at peace knowing the Lord knows what lies ahead for both of us, and I trust Him.
Another hard thing will be, well, leaving home. Rexburg is a little over 1300 miles away. Granted, I've been far away from home by myself plenty of times, but never to live for an extended period of time. I'm sure time will fly by, though. Heck, I'll probably going on 30 before I know it! :o
Also, money worries me. I will be pulling out student loans, and that's fine and all, but I want to be able to get myself out of debt as soon as possible. I want to be able to pay for as many things as possible on my own. Being financially stable is an extremely high priority in my life. I thank my dad for this attribute, as I'm pretty sure I gained this appreciation for having any money and being wary about spending it from him. So I am working as much as I can to earn and save money now. I won't be working while at school (at least for the first semester), so making sure I have enough money to eat, be clothed, have toilet paper, and all that fun stuff, is really important to me.
Next on the list of my life..
Crohn's. Stinking crohn's. It is definitely back. I don't like admitting this and I don't really know why, but I'm not eating nearly as much as I should. I can't. It hurts and I get sick every time I eat. I'm losing blood. More than I usually do. It worries me, but I try not to let it, so I ignore it. This isn't good, but I don't want to have to deal with it I guess. I don't want more tests, just to be told what I already know: it's a flare up, nothing major (meaning nothing life threatening), and there's not much we can do other than continue the treatment I'm already on, and maybe put me on a hundred pills a day again. Bleh. I'll just wait it out I think. Hope and pray it goes away. I'll be watching my weight, and I'm figuring if I get below 105ish lbs, I'll take myself in. (healthy average weight for me is 110-115) Or if I get to the point where I can't keep food down, or if I get fevers, or if the pain gets unbearable, then I'll go in. But for now I just don't want to deal with it. I don't have time.
And school. Ugh. Clarke is like high school. Popularity is everything. Everything meaning nothing I'm interested in, but it certainly limits my ability to be very social with people, since I am anything but popular (nor do I ever with to become so). Plus, popularity by the large majority of students at Clarke consists of sex jokes, sex, beer, and hipster attitude.
And I'm just a downer and a loser for not wanting to be a part of the "fun and popular" part of Clarke.