Sunday, July 31, 2011

Dilemma

My dad brought up something to me this morning on our way to church. We were discussing what I'll need to do this fall to get ready for Idaho, like getting enough clothing. Nicer clothing, since BYU-I has stricter dress standards than Clarke and I won't be able to just toss a hoodie on top of a sweater and jeans every day (which I have some slight problems with... I understand the whole respect thing, but as long as there's nothing ratty or torn with holes, I don't see why wearing a hoodie and jeans with thermals underneath would be such a problem...oh well).
My dad and I have a very similar way of discussing things. He has taught me to lay out all of the ideas and options on the table, even if there are some that we know will just be thrown away. It's good to know everything that you're dealing with when making decisions.
Today, my dad brought back the option that I thought I had already ruled out, and gave a reason as to why I should not rule it out yet. Not that I should pick it and change my mind entirely, but I shouldn't rule it out yet.

My biggest problem with Clarke, which is primarily the reason I am leaving Clarke, is that there is no orchestra for me to play in. There are a few other things about Clarke that I'm not too fond of, but that is the biggest.
I am auditioning for the Dubuque Symphony Orchestra in September. If I make it, I will need to be here for the whole season. If I make it, I could choose to stay at Clarke and not go to Idaho. There are a number of pros and cons to staying at Clarke.

Alternatively, I could just forget the whole thing and stick with moving to Idaho in January. There are just as many pros and cons with this plan, too.

So now it's just a matter of 1) waiting to see if I make the Symphony and 2) deciding with pros and cons outweigh the others. The second one is going to be a lot harder for me than a symphony orchestra audition.

To give you an idea of my pros and cons, I will list them below.

Pros of Staying in Dubuque
I'll be in a Symphony Orchestra, so not only will I be getting the experience and learning, but I will be paid for doing it.
I will get to spend another semester with Nick. :)
I still get free education
Free living
I will have a job

Cons of Staying
I won't get to live on my own
And there are still things about Clarke I don't like so much...

Pros of Going to Idaho
I will get to live on my own. (this is huge)
There is a bigger and better music program.
I will get to meet new people, make new friends.

Cons of Going
It's going to cost a lot of $, I'll be pulling student loans. I will be in debt, unlike how I am now.
I'll be far from Nick, who knows what will happen.
It's just as cold as Iowa, but it lasts longer.
No job.

Making choices on life, money, love and education all together are so hard!

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