Saturday, April 23, 2011


Insomnia plagues me yet another night, despite prescription medication to try and put me into a deep and well-rested sleep. Why this happens to me I have no idea. It is really annoying, though.
Tonight, in my battle with insomnia, my entire right arm has been hurting. To touch, to move, to not even do anything - simply letting it sit there - it hurts. So now, at around 4:30, I decided to get up and get a drink of water only to see that every single joint in my right arm and hand is swollen. All the way up to my neck. I can't stretch my hand all the way open, and unbending my elbow all the way aches and shoots to my shoulder. I am really more frustrated than concerned about this. It will likely go away.

Let me just say I am so grateful for the Plan of Salvation and for the testimony I have of its truth. Especially the part where, when we are resurrected, our bodies will be made perfect. Because mine certainly isn't! Not that I'm not grateful for what I have - believe me, I know it could be worse - but it's still something to really look forward to anyway.
I think I'm losing weight again. Darn school and all its stress.

I should get to the point of the title for this post...
When we moved out of the city and to Durango last year, there was a box of cat food that waited for us on the stairs immediately inside the front door. The lid on it read "for the cat visitors." We only ever got one cat visitor who stuck around to eat the food. Not being a family of cat people, eventually we got the courage up to go pet the cat and see if she wouldn't hiss and freak out on us. The moment we touched her she never stopped purring. Summer went on and she would bask in the sun in our driveway and run to us for petting and attention whenever we were out. When the weather started getting cold, my dad caved and installed a cat door for our heated garage. One day, while somebody was walking in from the garage, the kitty walked in to, looked around, and the expression she carried read something like "yeah, this looks good - I think I'll stay!" Needless to say, our alpha female corgi Tango hated her at first. Always wanted to chase her, could not stand that we were letting such filth of a creature into her home! Now as time has passed, the dogs are all a bit more accepting of her. The cat has received baths and flea baths. She has been previously de-clawed in her front paws. She is the most loving cat we have ever known. For the last 6-7 months she has slept in my bed nearly every night. Around Christmas time we decided she needed a name. She is such a beautiful cat, and the coloring on her is very similar to that of Minerva McGonagal's, the animagus transfiguration professor in Harry Potter when she is in her animal (cat) form. So my mom and sisters called her Minerva. I however, thought Minerva McGonagal was far too long of a name for a cat, so I shortened it to Mini. This suits her well, seeing as she is a smaller-than-average cat. Her size suggests she could pass off as being not quite a year old. The vet tells us however that she is likely 3 or 4 at the oldest.

Mini. She is such a sweet cat. We have never liked cats - they have always been too picky, never very nice, and very selfish in our eyes. This cat is anything but. You could pet her forever and she would never make you stop. She almost never stops purring. She loves to cuddle. As I type, she is sitting in my lap purring.

One thing I have noticed in life is that the worst things happen to the best people.
This applies to animals.
When we first held kitty, we noticed a little notch next to her tail on her hip. Thought nothing of it, really. That is, until it got a little bigger. Still didn't think much of it.
A week ago I gave the cat a bath because she was filthy. She still likes to spend her days outside, catching mice and playing in the woods, so she gets considerably filthy. She had also picked up fleas, so this was a medicinal bath for her as well. When I got her in the tub though and was gently massaging her, I noticed that the skin on the lump on her hip was broken and the fur and skin flapped up. I looked at what was inside, expecting to see some kind of malformed bone, or maybe a bunch of puss start to drain. All was red and sticky and hard as a rock. No bone, no puss.
The wound has not closed. Yesterday Mini went to the vet. Our suspicions were correct. Poor kitty has cancer. However, other than being just a little more cuddly, she doesn't seem to be in any pain whatsoever. She still rolls around in the sun, sprints for the woods, and purrs whenever we merely make eye contact with her bright green eyes.
All night tonight Mini has been insisting that she touch me. She places her paws around my hand, and if I move my hand, she stretches her legs so her front paws remain in grip with my hand. I rolled over and curled up on my side. She jumped over me and snuggled right into my chest, lay her head against my arms and extended her tiny little paws to my hands again.
Such a sweet cat.
I'm going to miss her when the cancer takes over. :(

Only people I've known with cancer I've known before they got cancer, and they are some of the greatest people I've known. I have only known a few, two that I can think of off the top of my head. One is still living, one is not. Both excellent people. It saddens me to think of this awful disease and how gruesome it gets, how it changes lives and breaks the hearts of family and loved ones.

But at the same time, it makes me even more grateful to know the things I know, to have the faith that I have, and have the reassurance that God loves each of us and that there is a plan in store. Everything that happens is a part of it - it's up to us to determine how much we learn from these things and how we make our lives because of them.

I love the church. I love life, even though this body is far from perfect, even though suffering and trial comes in abundance around us, I love life.

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